The Monster Inside
by RuinexX
Summary: This is a story preceding the cupcakes idea, it is about the slow degeneration of Pinkamena, now with her young charge Scootaloo. Sit back relax and experience the horrors and depression of what Ponyville and it's citizens have become. Mature content!
1. The Monster Inside

The Monster Inside 

_Author's Note: So this is my first written piece of work in a long time, so bear with me. I fell in love with what people have made the dark side of Pinkie Pie out to be. This is inspired by Cupcakes and a little blog on Tumblr called AskPinkamena Diane Pie. I finished the first "chapter" and decided to a test run of how people respond to it. So sit back enjoy the ride and read and review. Don't worry, I'll tell Pinkamena not to put your number in…_

It was bed time, but Scootaloo wasn't quite tired yet. She opened one eye and looked across at her friend. Her downfall and her saving grace all in one. Pinkie Pie could have killed her, should have killed her. Scootaloo's number came up, and there was rarely if any exceptions to the rules. But for some reason Pinkie Pie, now Pinkamena, offered her a proposition. Help Pinkamena with her "work" and she wouldn't kill the young filly and her number would never be put back in for any reason.

Scootaloo still didn't quite completely understand this Pinkamena yet. But if you looked past the sociopath she was the greatest friend one could ever have. Pinkamena knew the ways of this world, she knew how to survive when you had a monster inside. She was a role model for Scootaloo, a way out of a bleak existence. Only Pinkamena could answer her questions, only she could provide acceptance, only she could provide hope of a happy life. And they were happy, in this bleak world they had an incomparable bond.

Life had spit on Pinkie Pie and Scootaloo. If they followed their urges the world would hate them, if they buried their terrible desires they were haunted endlessly by voices, anger, black-outs and then as Pinkie Pie found, the desires were inevitably uncontrollable. Pinkie Pie had satiated the monster inside and the world hated her, as they would Scootaloo, but it didn't matter anymore, she had a friend.

Scootaloo broke out of her reverie, a single tear had slipped by unnoticed and stained the pillow beneath her face. Once again the young filly looked at Pinkamena. She hesitated then spoke up. "Pinkamena, are you still awake?"

What was once Pinkie Pie opened her eyes and shifted so she was facing Scootaloo. This wasn't the same pony physically either. Her hair was as straight as a ruler. Her eyes were the same bright blue as before but there was something off about them. Something untouchable, unfathomable, a constant shadow that you don't see so much as feel. "Yes, Scootaloo I'm awake." Pinkamena's voice was vastly different as well. The high pitch squeal of Pinkie Pie was gone. It was now an octave lower, slower, sadder. She fixed Scootaloo with an endearing gaze. "What is it squirt?"

Scootaloo smiled and her wings flared a little beneath the blankets. "Do you ever feel bad…for, for what you've done?" The young filly asked slowly, looking up to meet Pinkamena's gaze.

The older pony sighed and turned on her back, she looked down at her hooves and smiled sadly. "Do I feel bad for all the things I've done?" she asked softly, as if asking herself. "I used to… but now? No, I feel no remorse. I'm too far gone, I can't turn back. What use would there be for guilt, regret, sympathy?" Pinkamena asked, with the last sentence becoming a bitter snarl. "None at all let me tell you squirt." Pinkamena suddenly cheery, roughled the top of Scootaloo's mane.

Something changed in Pinkamena then and she smiled in a peculiar way. Scootaloo repressed a shiver.

"Those kinds of feelings would get in the way of my…work. They would drive me mad." A giggle escaped the older pony. "I think of it this way, Scoot, the blood is spilt, the tendons are snapped, the bones are crushed and the cupcakes are eaten. (Tasty, yes?)"

That was something Scootaloo had never even considered before she came to live with Pinkamena. Equine flesh was _very_ tasty, especially in cupcakes. Add Pinkamena's special touch and they were to die for.

"Point is there is nothing that can bring any pony back. See those kinds of feelings would be utterly useless!" Began Pinkamena again, looking at her hooves all the while; a scowl crept across her face. "I would shut down, I wouldn't be able to continue my work…" A shadow flitted across her face and she grinned once more.

"And I don't want to stop," whispered Pinkamena. She reached over and tipped up Scootaloo's chin with her hoof, again fixing her with a tender gaze. Scootaloo was trapped in those eyes. "Oh I wasn't always heartless. As I said before, I used to feel guilt…but it choked me, blanketed me, crushed me, until I hated myself and every waking moment was agony," the older pony explained, turning away and closing her eyes. She let her hoof fall from Scootaloo's face and positioned it back in her lap.

Tears slowly gathered in Scootaloo's eyes. She carried guilt, guilt due to her thoughts, her desires, her needs. She knew they wrong but they wouldn't go away. If she let her guard down the voices would come whispering, beckoning, pleading. It was often too much. She knew how Pinkie Pie felt and her friend knew how she felt. Pinkamena offered her a way to feed the monster and still felt like she belonged. Scootaloo wanted to hug her saviour, her friend but for some reason she was frozen. Two tears fell from her face.

"I couldn't stop, the monster inside me needed to be fed," continued Pinkamena, her voice breaking. She stared not at the wall, but through it. "The urge to kill, dissect, maim…Oh! The beauty of the body. The shuddering breaths. The gasps and screams of pain!" A gleeful bark of a laugh resounded from the thing next to Scootaloo. "The beauty of the ruby red blood. The crunch of bone! Ahem, well you get the picture. I'm past the point of no return. I couldn't stop feeding the monster inside me but well now-" Another bark of a laugh escaped. "It doesn't matter anymore, Scootaloo."

Once more Pinkamena fixed her eyes on the young filly and Scootaloo's breath caught in her throat. Pinkamena's pupils shrunk to the size of toothpicks and a shadow flared in her eyes and across her face, banishing any warmth left in her expression. A horrifying grin, ear to ear, slowly crept across her face. Scootaloo's face contorted in fear, she could do nothing but flatten herself against the bed, the tears shone in her eyes, catching the light in the room.

Pinkamena giggled, a horrible sound unlike anything a pony had ever made before. "It doesn't matter anymore, because well, because, now, I am the monster."


	2. The One That Got Away

Chapter 2

The One That Got Away

_Author's Note: I apologize so very much for leaving what readers I have hanging for two months. It was my first semester of college and I wasn't sure of how to balance school and personal hobbies. The semester is almost over and the work has let up so I was able to put out the second chapter. It was hard to begin this because I had the voice of Scootaloo from Rainbow Dash Presents: Rainbow Factory in my head when I tried to write this Scootaloo and it was horrible to try and shut that out. But no, go check out Rainbow Dash presents on youtube, it's amazing. Alright, well here's the second chapter. It will get more exciting, I promise! Stick around for later chapters, and I hope you enjoy and read and review. Also a shout-out to all the people that have reviewed and favourited my story, thank you so much. Yes I'll shut up now so you can read. Enjoy!_

A strange sound drifted into Scootaloo's head, invading, threatening, disturbing her peaceful sleep. She groaned and sluggishly reached for the pillow and held it down over head. Suddenly her eyes snapped open. That sound, it was strange, something that didn't belong – not here. It was humming but it wasn't the sound itself that was odd, it was where it was coming from. Or rather, who it was coming from. Pinkamena herself was humming a pleasant tune that drifted muffled into the bedroom. A smile planted itself on Scootaloo's face. She then began the slow difficult task of pulling herself out of bed. On the way into the kitchen a wonderful smell pervaded the air. It was the yeasty smell of baking, mixed with a slightly odd smell now so familiar to her. Cupcakes.

The young filly's wings flared and she licked her lips. _So that explained why she was happy…_It immediately occurred to her that Pinkamena did not call her for the party. Scootaloo was supposed to be her loyal apprentice. She was in training, how was she supposed to learn if she missed her hooves on experience? It wasn't fair, she and Pinkamena were supposed to do everything together! Her wings drooped and she plodded slowly along the hallway, her hooves barely rising off the floor. Scootaloo came to a halt, her eyes narrowed. She would make Pinkamena feel sorry, yes that's it. The young filly resumed her journey to the kitchen, anger evident in every step. The young filly entered the kitchen and found that her previous anger trickled down into annoyance as Pinkamena entered her sight.

Pinkamena didn't appear to notice her young friend right away. She continued to hum and bustled about the kitchen. This morning she was wearing a flowery apron smeared with flour and dark red-brown stains. Her mane was even straighter than usual, if that were even possible. Her eyes were bright and blue, it added to her sentimental almost peaceful expression. Scootaloo coughed and the rare look faltered at the unwelcome interruption. It quickly turned into a smile as recognition set in.

"Morning, Squirt," greeted Pinkamena as she came over to nudge the filly's head.

Scootaloo usually appreciated the teasing but this time she roughly pulled her head away and backed up a few steps. She tried her best to imitate an expression Pinkamena used when she was displeased with Scootaloo. After trying to rearrange her face several times to no avail she gave up. A dejected look came across the young filly's face and she dropped her head. In the process her purple main flopped forward slightly.

"What is it Scootaloo?" Asked Pinkamena, taking a step forward.

Scootaloo stared hard at the floor, taking in every detail. Her vision began to blur and she blinked in surprise as a hoof gently touched her shoulder. The pink hoof softly wiped the tears from her eyes. Scootaloo slowly turned her head to meet the owner of the arm. Pinkamena met her gaze with a gentle stare. At this closeness Scootaloo could smell the dried blood; it overpowered the other baking smells. Her eyes narrowed and her mouth became a small line. "Why didn't you call me to help with the party?" She choked out. Scootaloo meant for it to sound a lot bolder, but it ultimately ended up a wine.

Pinkamena gave her a small smile and pulled her hoof away from Scootaloo's shoulder. "Ah, is that what this is about?" She asked, eyeing the younger filly. Pinkamena went to stand beside Scootaloo and knelt down beside her, so she was on her level. Pinkamena raised her eyes to the right as if trying to search her head. A sigh escaped her and she looked beside her to Scootaloo. "I…am sorry Scootaloo," she began, fumbling for the words slightly. "But I had to do this one on my own."

Scootaloo raised her head and met her friend's gaze. "Why?" She wined, beginning to pout. The young filly continued to stare Pinkamena down and waited for an explanation.

Pinkamena let out a soft laugh that turned into a sigh. "This was a personal matter that I did _not_want to drag you into," she said seriously. No trace was left of her previous happy mood. Pinkamena now had a faraway look in her eyes and her irises appeared to be tinged with grey. "It was nasty, so very nasty…" she continued, shaking her head.

Scootaloo was finding it hard to maintain her glare. She had to remind herself that she was in fact mad at Pinkamena. Her glare finally gave way to concern.

Pinkamena appeared to snap out of her reverie and began to untie her apron. The piece of fabric fell to the floor in a heap. Scootaloo winced when she saw what was underneath. On Pinkamena's chest there was a black and purple bruise in the shape of a hoof print. There were also a couple of angry red scratches closer to her stomach. "Better me than you, squirt," Pinkamena offered in place of an explanation.

It didn't look too bad, the scratches weren't very deep. From Pinkamena's tutelage Scootaloo knew a mortal wound. The bruise was another matter; although it wasn't mortal it would be there for a while. Scootaloo reached out and gently touched the bruise. Pinkamena didn't flinch but Scootaloo knew from the look in her eyes that it hurt. "What happened?" Scootaloo asked, concern heavy in her voice.

Pinkamena's eyes glazed over again, the unsettling shade of grey returning. "She was being… difficult. This pony almost escaped me but-"

"But, but you have the best knots in all of Equestria!" Scootaloo cut in. Suddenly a thought occurred to the young filly. "_Has _anyone ever escaped you before?" She gasped.

A dangerous flash of anger appeared in Pinkamena's eyes but disappeared as quickly as it had come. Pinkamena looked thoughtful for a moment. She then smiled a small, dark, smile. "Usually I take extra care in making sure my playmates are secured. The hoofs are strapped down, the mouths are gagged, everypony is drugged. I even have a way of nullifying magic!" A pleasant giggle sounded from the pony, more similar to a sound the old Pinkie Pie would make than anything Scootaloo had heard in a while. Pinkamena's high-pitch giggle broke off suddenly, the remnants echoing into oblivion.

A frown quickly occupied the place her smug smile had been. "But there was one, one pony that got away… Well there was Fluttershy; she was a pain in the flank and such a loud mouth too!" Added Pinkamena, her voice cracking slightly. Her pupils became small and she grinned. "But I caught her again. The little mishap just made our play date more interesting in the end." The older pony's front hooves thunked against the wood floor as the last word left her mouth, making Scootaloo jump. This apparently amused Pinkamena and she let out a harsh laugh. She rolled onto her back and kicked her hooves up in the air, while she gasped for air between her giggles.

This was not typical Pinkamena behaviour, or typical so far as Scootaloo had seen. When Scootaloo first had come to Pinkamena, she hardly laughed or did anything at all except bake cupcakes. Pinkamena always had had this shadow around her, it seemed to envelop her and seemed part of her. Scootaloo could not see it so much as feel it. As of late, that shadow and the feeling of foreboding that came with being around it, had all but disappeared.

The young filly didn't know how to respond to this humming, laughing pony that had always been grim and serious before now. Pinkamena looked so happy. Scootaloo smiled at the odd sight of her friend around on the floor, it was quite amusing. Before the young pony knew it she too was on the floor laughing with vigour. Scootaloo hadn't laughed this hard since her time with Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom. Her laugh trailed off and her eyes looked to the ceiling. That was another time in a different world, oh, a very different world…

"Heh, heh, sorry, Scoot!" Wheezed Pinkamena. "You. Should. Have. Seen. Your. Face!" The older pony rolled right side up again and looked down at Scootaloo, still breathing hard. "Oh, what's wrong?"

Scootaloo closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Pinkamena had numbed her own feelings, Scootaloo would try too. The young filly blinked and shook her head to clear her thoughts. Scootaloo's eyes rested on droplets of blood leading from the ceiling, er, the cellar. She righted herself so the floor was the floor again and stood up. "Oh yes that's right! Who gave you so much trouble last night? I bet if I was there, she wouldn't have even given you one scratch…" Scootaloo tried but failed to keep the hurt out of her voice.

Pinkamena too raised herself off the floor. Her long mane covered her eyes. She slowly moved it aside and under it was a horrific expression. Her eyes were tinged grey and an unsettling smile crossed her face. "First, Scootaloo," she began, her voice low but excited. "There is another pony. The only one that has ever truly escaped me," Pinkamena slowly walked over to Scootaloo and moved in behind her. A tender smile that did not match her frenzied eyes took up occupancy on her face. The older pony began to stroke Scootaloo's mane. "But now, she'll come back and then we can play again," she explained her voice now gentle. She sounded so certain, so pleased with herself.

Scootaloo closed her eyes in bliss; a serene calm came across her. Pinkamena sometimes stroked her mane when they talked, Scootaloo loved it. "How can you be so certain?" Scootaloo asked dazily.

Pinkamena smiled softly. "Because she'll want revenge," she stated simply. "I killed her lover; I killed the only one she lived for. Yes, she'll come back." She paused then laughed softly, still stroking Scootaloo's mane. Pinkamena began to move the Scootaloo's mane away from her ear. She leaned forwards until her mouth was all but touching the young filly's ear. Scootaloo shivered as her friend breathed out. Pinkamena grinned a mischievous grin as if she was telling a forbidden secret only she knew. "I killed Bon-Bon." She whispered.


End file.
